Tonight is lonely, quiet and humid. The lack of free entertainment is something that reminds me of life here however. No television, no radio, no movie because of my lack of CD-rom in my netbook, and no real outings places to go that are 1)safe, and 2) free. Unless there are undiscovered hang out places I have no idea what people do here.. STILL. Yes, we venture to the bars, beach and into town but I can't seem to figure out where the "young" people my age are... its a mystery. If I had unlimited shiling (kenyan currency) I would find out. I would hunt for them. But alas I have little shilling and live halfway between Nyali (the nice/rich area of mombasa) and Old town- the thriving center of mombasa, so here I am on a Saturday night stuck. Now dont get me wrong I had opportunities to go out and party, but let's just say last night was "too much." If the internet/electricity goes out, I'm also out, out of luck. I would try to sleep but well its too damn hot.
So what have I done tonight? Sat on facebook and untagged pictures of myself... for like an hour. What a sad excuse of a Saturday night! Facebook is currently my frenemy... I long to deactivate, yet it is my true source of connection to people back home. Home. Where is my home? After living at school, moving down to North Carolina, and now living here in Kenya... where do I call home? I never imagined living back in Livonia, for more than a few months of transition, but as life has evolved, I know not where the transition will be too. One thing is for sure I miss walking on carpet barefoot, sitting around in my underwear eating gf crackers while watching CNN, and most of all living alone.
There is too much time here to think. And by think I mean overthink. One of my host Mamas, Mavella told me just a few weeks ago, that the worst thing anyone can do is to get lost in their own head. She told me this after revealing what life is like for a woman whose husband decides to take a second wife. Polygamy is largely practiced here in Kayafungo. She told me how no matter what to push on, and busy the hands, to busy the mind. Her advice I hate to say is so right, yet here I am sitting in my moist apartment lingering in my head. Flipping through old photos of the days at Central, wishing I was there, wishing my friends where here, wishing my hair looked that good here, wishing my hair was long or even short like the pictures, wishing I could see the snow, wishing I was as tan as some of the pictures, basically wishing for the best of all the worlds and all the things I've been so lucky to do the last few years.
Wishing gets you no where. Living is what drives the dreams we have, and reach for. I should get off my tush and go do something!